Here’s something you don’t expect to hear from a financial advisor: Most budgets don’t work and are a bad idea anyway!
Here’s a better way to make sure you’re spending money on things you want and not spending on things you don’t want.
Consider setting up a values-based spending plan. To do this not only track your spending, but also decide if you’re spending money on things you truly value.
Successful people know that being generous increases prosperity in all areas of their lives. And, you don’t have to be Bill and Melinda Gates or Oprah Winfrey to make a difference. Here are some ideas for making generosity a part of your day.
Do you want to be more prosperous? What would that feel like to you? There are so many different ways to feel rich and prosperous. You might be surprised at how much prosperity you already have!
Do you often ask yourself, “Why can’t I save more?” It doesn’t have to be difficult to be a better saver and have money for reaching your financial goals. You can start saving more by making just one small change in your spending habits. Try this tip to ramp up your savings.
Simple acts of generosity can often have a powerful impact on not only the recipients, but for you as well. Many studies have shown that being generous can boost your health and happiness levels. Studies have also correlated increases in happiness levels with increased social connections and relationships.
Somewhat by accident, my husband Steven and I found a simple way to increase not only levels of personal well-being, but also those of people in your community. Here’s what we figured out…
I started cycling a few years ago in order to spend more time with Steven. Prior to this, most of my outdoor exercise revolved around running. While Steven would be out biking for hours, I’d be running with people in my running club. I realized I was spending more time talking with the people in my pace group than with my own husband.
I knew how to ride a bicycle, but had never ridden a road bike. As someone who’s been accused of being relentlessly upbeat, I found myself in a mental spiral of terror out on the bike trail – afraid of falling, afraid of someone or something running into me, afraid of being stranded with a flat tire. It’s gotten better over the past few years; I’ve become more confident, but still hyper-focused on safety.
One thing I learned from an experienced cyclist is that often drivers can’t see you, especially if you’re heading straight on the road and they are turning left. It’s like their brains have a blind spot, as they aren’t looking for you. He suggested making a movement to get their attention, such as a wave. So, I started doing this and added a smile.
Steven started running this past summer (while training for his first Ironman triathlon). I had told him about the smile and the wave, and he noticed when he did this as he was running, most people would smile and wave back. Interesting…
We started an experiment of smiling and waving and seeing how many people we could get to smile and wave back at us. We would smile even more with each wave back and realized that people really liked a simple acknowledgement of their considerate driving and a momentary connection.
A smile and a wave. That’s it. Simple. Friendly. And, I’d say in today’s age of staring at your phone, an act of generosity.
I’ve been trying for a week and a half to write about patience. The concept is one that I find to be very important, but every time I sat down to do some research on this I got, well … impatient.
Being a patient person is even more virtuous than it used to be. Most information is easily accessible on your phone in seconds – we aren’t used to waiting. Amazon Prime can deliver within two hours in some locations – no need to wait that agonizingly long time of 24 hours to get your order any more.
In 2000, the average attention span was 12 seconds; in 2016 it was 8 seconds. It’s believed that goldfish have a 9 second attention span. This seems like a problem!
The real hurdle here is how a lack of patience may affect your day-to-day life, wellbeing, and of course, your finances.
Why Does It Affect My Money?
Well, patience certainly pays off when it comes to your savings. We’ve all heard about the magic of compound interest. This is where your interest earns interest and over time this can add up to big returns. It can also pay off if you defer spending until you have the money you need, as opposed to running up your credit cards. Or you could wait until the item you think you need goes on sale. By then, you might even realize that you don’t really need it.
How Can I Cultivate More Patience?
This very well may be a learned skill. One good step is to notice when you are feeling impatient. Next time you are in line at Starbucks and you want to scream at the person in front of you who orders 6 complicated drinks and then changed his order, instead, take in a few deep breaths. Concentrating on your breathing helps you to feel calmer and less annoyed. Next, ask yourself this question that I got from Mark Ewert, author of The Generosity Path: “What is the most generous response I can have right now?” Doesn’t that feel better than the question, “Why is this person such an idiot?!”
I got to flex my patience muscles as we updated and launched my website. When we started, I thought it would take two months at the most. It took ten months! I had to keep reminding myself in divine timing. We’re up and running now. I hope you’ll check out my new programs.
I’ll wrap this up now – don’t want you to get too impatient reading!
Did you know that money stress can actually stand in the way of creating wealth and mess with your health? Here’s an easy way to shift your focus that’ll make you happier and healthier- and maybe even boost your wealth. Give it a try and see what happens.
If you haven’t seen the stats, according to The World Economic Forum Gender Gap Report, at the pace things are changing it will take more than 200 years for gender parity in the world. Seems pretty messed up to me.
Maybe this is why the theme for International Women’s Day 2018 is #PressForProgress.
Economic participation and opportunity is one of the four main areas looked at in this parity assessment. I see this as one of the most important. Studies have shown when women have increased economic empower
ment there are amazing benefits for the economy as a whole, in addition to health care and education.
I’m more hopeful about the economic future of women…
I can’t get my head around it actually taking more than two centuries for economic parity – here’s why I’m more optimistic:
Be the change…
If you want to see a different future for yourself and other women here’s what you can do:
On my first day back in Ghana, as I walked into breakfast at our hotel in the capital of Accra, I was greeted by Mustapha, an amazing young man whom I met on my last trip there. Remember Tigger from Winnie the Pooh? Well, Mustapha’s personality is kind of like that. He’s also brilliant, full of boundless energy, an infectious smile, and the ability to make to make people feel amazing just by being in his presence.
Mustapha and Ellen
He was there to meet our group involved in The Ghana Scholarship Fund and accompany us to Senchi-Ferry, a rural community a couple of hours north of Accra. My husband Steven and our two college-aged kids, Benjy and Amy, joined me on this trip. It had been many years since they had been back to the community.
Driving on the partially paved and pothole-filled roads into the village of Senchi-Ferry for the fifth time, I felt so much more at ease than I did on my first trip here eight years ago. It was more familiar, more comfortable, and filled with anticipation to see friends I had made over the years. I was so excited for our kids to meet the university scholarship students I had met on my last trip. They were the same ages, facing similar issues, even though on the surface their lives seem so different.
Each and every time I’m in Senchi and in Ghana, I grow and learn. Given that the people in this community are of very limited financial resources, you wouldn’t expect that I’d receive money lessons from them – but I did indeed learn a lot about abundance.
What I Learned About Abundance:
Being grateful and appreciative keeps the cycle of abundance going…
Cultural Presentation in Senchi-Ferry
The chiefs in the community wanted to express their gratitude for the Scholarship Fund, and honored us with a series of very special cultural events. There was a large event where all of the chiefs from the surrounding communities came, along with all of our high school and university scholarship beneficiaries and their families, for a program of local music, speeches, and presentations by the students. We also had a special evening with a smaller group of chiefs where they served us refreshments and shared their ritual of pouring “libations.” They gave us an opportunity to ask any questions we had about their customs, tribes, and rituals. They adorned us with special beads as a thank you for the benefits of the education that so many in their community have received (140 kids were sponsored through high school and 33 are currently in university). Although the goal is to be generous without an expectation of anything in return, it feels amazing when sincere gratitude and appreciation is given.
Don’t you feel like you want to continually do more for people who are so gracious in their expression of appreciation? Similarly, when there isn’t gratitude, even though you might not have been expecting a thank you, are you typically eager to keep giving?
Lesson: Be effusive in expressions of gratitude and appreciation.
Abundance comes in many forms…
We have so much more than most people realize. Yes, money is important. We live in a material world. You need money to buy food and shelter. Many of people in the community we visited do not have electricity or running water. They work hard each day to feed their families, and often there isn’t enough. They strive to be able to pay school fees for their children, buy a TV, a refrigerator, a car, and they dream of someday being able to build a home. Clearly there are way too many disadvantaged people in the developed world; too many kids that go to sleep hungry. But for most people in the US, our basic needs are met.
Ellen teaching in Ghana
It’s easy to get caught up in the desire for more or worry about losing what we have. One of the easiest cures for this is to check in on what is truly great in your life. When you focus on what you do have as opposed to what’s lacking, you’ll not only feel happier and more prosperous, but also have new energy to create more financial abundance.
Although many of the people I met on this trip have little in terms of material wealth, they are rich in terms of community, joy, and connection to something greater than themselves. They are accepting of other’s religious beliefs, tribal heritage, and backgrounds.
Lesson: Focus on what you have, not on what you don’t have.
The dirty little secret about generosity…
It feels great. This is why people who value generosity continue to give. Why do I keep going back to Senchi-Ferry? Why do I spend my resources to prepare for the trip and take time away from my business? Because what I receive is so much greater than what I expend in time, energy, and resources. This is what I’ve seen over and over: what you give without expectation of receiving anything in return comes back to you many times over.
Mustapha ( in the cape and mask) and the kids in the Zongo
Mustapha spends his Sunday afternoon with kids in the Zongo helping them to color and do art. The kids run to his step-father’s home to sit on the ground to color and learn from Mustapha. This kind act not only makes him feel good and earns the respect of people in his community, but has also circled back to him, leading to his job offer (even before he graduates from university) to be the CEO in Ghana for World Possible, an organization that helps provide offline learning to children throughout the country.
Lesson: Good flows back to people who do good – but that’s not why they do good.
Of course it’s a good idea to learn about money from books, courses, advisors, and online. This is smart and practical. However, if this is the only way to focus on your money, you’ll be missing the greater meaning and lessons that help you grow and flourish. Getting to know people with different backgrounds and experiences will help you really learn about life – at least it has for me.
Valentine’s Day and talking about financial planning at the same time doesn’t sound very romantic. Yet, having a heart-to-heart about money can help you avoid serious conflicts in your relationship. So how do you find financial bliss with your honey? The more effectively you can communicate and plan for your future finances, the better.
Here are my top 5 dos and don’ts to building an aligned and prosperous financial life:
1. Do talk. There is no one right way to handle money in a relationship. However, you or your partner may think there is! The first step in smart planning is to open the lines of communication. To start the discussion, ask open ended, probing questions. Make sure you share your answers to these questions, too. You’ll gain an understanding of each other’s values about money.
What’s most important to you about money?
If we were working as a team with our money, what would our finances look like five years from now?
If you had the ideal financial situation, what would it look like?
2. Don’t slight your partner. Instead of deciding they’re nuts when it comes to money, learn your partner’s money story. According to cellular biologist Bruce Lipton, we develop most of our subconscious beliefs between conception and age 7. This includes our beliefs about money. We are all brought up with different attitudes and beliefs about money. And, “different” can sometimes mean “wrong” when people fight about money. Here are some questions to get started:
What financial lessons did each of you learn?
Were your parents savers, hoarders, spenders?
Did your parents talk freely about money? Was it a secret?
Did you take care of yourself financially?
3. Do find balance. It’s easy to see your partner’s financial actions as wrong if they aren’t handled in the same way as you would handle them. Many arguments start when one feels the other is spending too much money. Another area of conflict is when one partner feels controlled by the other with respect to spending money. This is not an easy one to tackle. There is no one right way to handle cash. The trick is to find the way that works in your marriage. Discuss and design effective ways to handle cash and spending together. Some couples set up three separate checking accounts: one for household expenses, one for his expenses and one for hers. This way each one has control over his or her own expenses. Some couples need to design a prioritized spending plan. (Here’s how to set up your spending plan: https://ellenrogindev.moxiegrafixdigitaldesign.com/toss-your-budget-this-works-so-much-better/)
If you are a planner and he’s more spontaneous (or as you say, haphazard) can you find a way to see how this approach can help you to live more in the moment? So think to yourself:
Where am I making my spouse wrong about money?
Is there a way that this could actually balance out my approach?
4. Don’t ignore the money talk. Set up a monthly meeting to talk about family finances. And why not make these meetings fun? How about planning brunch at a favorite restaurant and make these meetings something you look forward to! Planning your future lives together can be one of the most meaningful and important steps you can take as a couple to create a happy financial relationship. Here are some questions to think about when you set financial goals together:
Have you discussed where you want to be financially in 5 years, 10 years and 20 years?
What do you and your partner want for yourselves, your family and your community?
What is the financial impact of these goals? For example, if you desire to travel to China in 5 years, how will you save for this goal?
Have you discussed the funding of your children’s education?
Have you agreed upon a savings and investment strategy?
5. Do be honest. Come clean with all things financial, instead of hiding money secrets. Money secrets will drive a huge wedge in your relationship. It’s like having a financial affair.
https://ellenrogindev.moxiegrafixdigitaldesign.com/are-you-tangled-in-a-web-of-money-lies/
Do you want important information kept from you?
Do you make purchases and hide them from your partner?
Do you pay cash so he/she won’t know what you spend money on?
Do you have debt or bad investments that you are hiding?
Solid communication about money and effective planning as a couple will help you and your partner share many happy years together.
