Ellen Rogin

BOOK ELLEN

Make Sure Your Kids Aren’t Freaking Out About Money

Are your kids scared about money?

During volatile times like these it’s easy to worry about your money, question what the right next move should be, and wonder what the future will bring. As I wrote about in my last blog post, worry is about the worst thing you can do in uncertain times.  It leads to bad decisions among other issues. If you have children, it’s even more important to be very deliberate when it comes to your response.

I know you know this … your kids learn from what they see you do and hear you say. Money is no exception. They are picking up your cues. If you are fighting with your partner, they pick that up. If you’re wringing your hands, making comments about how scary things are, they pick that up. They are smart. Even if you say everything will be fine, but you don’t actually believe that it will be, they pick that up too.

All the time, but especially in times of uncertainty, be conscious of money messages you communicate with your children.

Here are some ideas of how to support your kids to be financially resilient:

  • Be discerning with your media consumption – If you have the financial news playing in the background all day long not only will this likely make you more anxious and confused, it will send a message to your kids that investments are scary, money problems are coming, and that this will somehow negatively affect them. Now it very well may affect them based upon your individual situation, but better you communicate this in an age appropriate way. If you want to check in on the markets, or research an area of concern, consider doing this in a room away from your kids or online.  This doesn’t just help your kids. Limiting your exposure to the news can help you as well. Think of too much news like sugar. A little bit is okay, but too much will make you cranky, lose sleep and bark at people you love.
  • Be age appropriately honest – If your family needs to be making changes based upon a financial setback, talk about it. People are weirdly secretive about money and it’s not always helpful. Sometimes we all need to cut back based upon our financial reality. That’s a great financially responsible lesson to teach your kids. If you do need to make some cut backs, this may be an opportunity to find fun and engaging free ways to spend time together. Bring family board game night back (or start it for the first time!)
  • Give to others – whether your family is relatively unscathed through this period, or if you are more directly affected it is a beautiful opportunity to exemplify generosity. Find ways to help others during this time. Perhaps you have an elderly neighbor that needs you to run errands for her – have your kids join in. Here’s an example of what one group is doing in the Chicago area. Got extra toilet paper stock piled? Maybe someone near you is freaking out about this! And you can help.

Going forward here are some other resources for bring up money smart and prosperous kids –

Here’s my Tedx Talk on the surprising way to teach your kids about money:   

 

 

 

And here’s an article covering when to start allowance and how Steven and I worked with our kids. By all accounts they are financially responsible and generous young adults now, so something worked!

From ages earlier than you can imagine your kids are picking up money messages. Set them up for a healthy money mindset!

Every good wish,

The One Thing You Should NOT Do with Your Money Now

I know the markets feel crazy now. We’re seeing big stock market swings, scary health news, and economic uncertainty. There hasn’t been this much volatility in many, many years. Is this the beginning of another dramatic recession? Will there be a global health crisis like one we haven’t seen in our lifetimes?

I don’t know.  But, here is what I do know…

The worst financial move you can make now is to worry. You might be saying, “yah Ellen, that’s a little Pollyanna-ish given what’s going on don’t you think?” Yup. That’s right. Maybe it is all sunshine and rainbows. But here’s why it’s sound financial advice.

Worry is a weak response.

At best maybe you’ll just lose a few nights sleep. On the other hand, worry can also lead to really bad decision making which can cause expensive mistakes. 

What kind of decisions do you make when you are freaked out (and sleep deprived)? Think back on a time when you were really filled with fear and jumped to react. Was this your finest hour? Did you act in ways that you later regretted? I know for me whenever I’ve taken action from a place of fear it was a bad move.

When you are in deep worry and fear, you likely can’t access the higher thinking parts of your brain to come up with good solutions.  Calming down your thoughts and emotions will not only feel better, but also allow you to find solutions that make sense.

If worry is a weak reaction, what is a resilient response? How do you create more calm around your finances?

Here are 5 quick ideas:

  1. Start with quieting your ohhhhh so chatty mind. Take a walk in nature, watch your breath, work out, or do whatever you need to create some mental space for clear thinking. Also, turn off the friggin’ news. Whether you watch TV or ingest news online. Turn it off. It is guaranteed to make you feel worse. If you must watch something, here are a few of my favorite feel better shows:
      • Jane The Virgin – this is my current addiction. So good and – a warning here – there are a lot of seasons, so it’s an investment in time.
      • Younger – so light and funny.
      • The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel – of course you know this is entertaining. Here’s my brush with fame – a picture with me and Steven when we met Rachel Brosnahan.
  1. Do a reality check. Will market fluctuations actually make a difference in the short run for you? If you have enough cushion for short to medium term needs you likely don’t need to be concerned. Markets go up and markets go down. You’ve likely been through this before. Need some help with this? Call your advisor. Talk to a trusted friend.
  2. Focus on what is working. Okay I know this is so “Oprah-ish” but it works. Focusing on what you are grateful for is a proven way to increase happiness and reduce stress. You are likely very far from really not being okay. Here’s a short video with more on this.
  3.  Up the velocity of your generosity. Sounds backwards, right? If you’re worried about money, why would you give some away? I promise you when you loosen your grip on money and help those less fortunate you will feel better and for many people they see a boomerang effect with money flowing back to them.
  4.  Focus on what you can control. You can control (eventually) your thoughts, your feelings and your actions. You can’t control the stock market, the economy as a whole or the media. Maybe you’ll feel better if you cut back on spending, up your marketing efforts, or get more organized. You decide. But getting into action will move you ahead much more quickly than a worry-fest.

If you want a bit more on this, here’s a video that I shot a while back – but it still holds true today.

 

 

Inhale, exhale, remember to control what you can and let go of the rest.

Every good wish,

 

 

Why Mindfulness Might be Your Best Business Strategy

Do you ever worry about growing your business, or your job, or the economy? At some point … of course you do! We live in a constantly changing, and evolving world. For most people at some point this causes some level of worry or stress.

Being freaked out is not only terrible for your health and your relationships, but it is also really bad for business.

Here’s the thing – these stresses aren’t going away.

Some stress a good thing, right?

But do you think it drives your success? You might want to reconsider this. Experts report that slow burning stress, anger and other negative emotions can actually kill you. It can also be toxic for your relationships with clients, your team and at home.

When you’re experiencing fear and anxiety others can feel this as well. You emit a “fear pheromone” when you’re anxious and it’s contagious. Your stress can act like an infectious plague affecting those around you.

Okay, if the stressors don’t go away then the only thing that you can control is how you deal with them. Wouldn’t it be cool if you could do something that not only cushions the stress but also helps you grow your business? Ta-dah! Here’s what’s worked for me and many, many others … incorporating a mindfulness practice into your daily schedule might just be your secret weapon.

What is mindfulness anyway? 

A simple definition is: Being aware. We are often running on autopilot. It’s estimated that 47% of the time our minds are wandering. That means that almost half of the time you’re thinking about something other than what’s happening in the present moment. This bears the question: what might you be missing? Is it an important cue a client is giving you? Maybe a comment from a disgruntled employee? Or, how about really being present with your kids or partner?

Here’s a more expansive definition from The Mindful Nation UK Report: “Mindfulness means paying attention to what’s happening in the present moment in the mind, body and external environment, with an attitude of curiosity and kindness.”

Practicing mindfulness

A great way to practice mindfulness is through meditation. Just like with exercise, there are many different styles of meditation. Whether you like Zumba, kickboxing, or cycling it’s important to find the exercise practice that you enjoy… it’s the same with meditation. For many years I practiced Transcendental Meditation, more recently my practice has shifted to mindfulness meditation typically focusing my attention on my breath.

I know that my meditation practice helped me be more successful in business. Clients and staff felt more comfortable and calm. I think it helped me read my clients more effectively and this had a direct positive impact on the bottom line. I know it helped me be a better wife and mom too.

Research backs up the benefits. Meditation can change the structure and functioning of your brain to allow you to not only be less stressed, but less reactive and with a greater ability to control mind wandering. Perhaps it’s not the latest time management strategy that will help you be more productive but actually spending time daily meditating.

Here’s a quick and fun video on why meditation is the new superpower by news anchor Dan Harris. He came to meditation after having a panic attack on live TV while doing the news on Good Morning America.

Companies like Google, SAP, and Aetna know the importance of these skills and have implemented training for their teams. Google started their Search Inside Yourself program and it was so incredibly successful they had thousands on the waiting list to get into the course. They have since spun off this initiative to a separate non-profit and the workshop is now being given around the world. A great book to get you started is based on their program: Search Inside Yourself: The Unexpected Path to Achieving Success, Happiness (and World Peace.)

Simple ways to start meditating

Starting a meditation practice doesn’t have to mean sitting cross legged like a pretzel on the floor for an extended period of time. You can begin with a few conscious breaths; just noticing your in-breath and noticing your out-breath. As your attention drifts off with your thoughts (which for just about everyone it will) simply and gently bring your attention back to your breath. Inhale and exhale.

You might consider taking a class to start your practice or using one of the many apps available with guided meditations. Here are a few to consider:

  • Insight Timer – this is my personal favorite and I’ve used it for years. It is free (although there is an upgraded version I purchased). There are thousands of guided meditations, courses and music.
  • Headspace and Calm – two additional very popular apps with much content to choose from.
  • 10% Happier – this is Dan Harris’ app (the news anchor mentioned above.)

When I work with teams to incorporate more mindfulness into their daily lives and their leadership practices I often say “sometimes you need to slow down to speed up.” Your ability to be more present in every aspect of your life can be one of the most important, foundational skills to master for your success and happiness.

Every good wish, 

Adding Kindness to Your Daily Schedule

In case you missed it, or if you didn’t know, Random Acts of Kindness Day was last Sunday. It’s weird that we need to be reminded to be kind, right? Most of us were taught as little kids that it’s good to be kind to your friends, the kid in class who doesn’t seem to have friends, your annoying little brother, your dog, and your parents.

But in our polarized, chaotic, and often uncertain world it can be helpful to keep kindness in mind. Not just because we know we should and it will help the person who’s the target of your goodness, but because kindness will benefit us as well.

Did you know that kindness can improve your health? 

Here are a few ways kindness helps:

  • Boosts the feel-good hormone serotonin
  • Eases anxiety
  • You live longer and healthier

In just a few minutes a day you can shift your energy and make a positive impact on others.

Here’s a few ways you can spread kindness toward others:

  • Look up from your phone and smile at the person in the elevator with you. You don’t have to pretend they aren’t there.
  • Leave a surprise note for a friend. My friend Nicole left this for me in my fridge!           
  • Call a friend you haven’t talked to in too long and tell them how much you miss them.
  • Send a note of thanks to a person who’s made a huge, positive difference in your life
  • Pick up trash you see in the park. This makes it more pleasant for everyone who passes by.
  • Want more ideas? Here you go.

Here’s a video guaranteed to make you happy and quite possibly motivate you to boost your kindness quotient:

Interested in the science of kindness? Check out this short video:  

So in recognition of Random Acts of Kindness Day, and more kindness every day, to you I send wishes of kindness, love, and lavish abundance.

You are awesome!

8 Ways to Romance Your Money

Valentine’s Day is my favorite holiday. My mom and dad always made a big deal about getting me fun Valentine’s Day cards and sometimes even a little gift. For me it’s a holiday about all types of love and caring – not solely about romantic love as many see it.

What if this Valentine’s Day you could throw a little love and caring toward your money? Play with this idea a little bit with me, and imagine what it would take to build your relationship with money by romancing it. What might that look like for you? Keep your imagination cap on as I share an interview I had with “Money.”

I asked Money: ‘What it would look like if people romanced you?’ Here’s what I learned:

  1. Show Your Money You Care – What would it look like if you to paid more attention to your money? Relationships flounder if one party feels ignored. Showing more care might include:
    • Spend some time with your money. Some people go out of their way to avoid dealing with their money. The thought of it makes them anxious, confused and maybe even ashamed. If “Money” were a person how do you think this would make them feel? Would they want to hang around you if you avoided them?
    • Know what you’ve got. Reviewing at least quarterly what you actually own and owe.
    • Know where it goes. Track your spending to make sure you’re spending money on things you value. Creating a values based spending plan can help. Oh, and budgets don’t really work for most people. Here’s what you should do instead.
  2. Don’t be controlling – Money doesn’t like to be used as a weapon or a way to control others.
    • Talk to your partner about money. Money disagreements can be a driver of division for couples. A big dose of honesty can help. If you keep things secret from your honey about spending it’s time to come clean. Understanding your partner’s money upbringing can help as well. Here are some more suggestions……..
    • You’re not better than others just because you have more money. This one may take some personal reflection. I don’t think that most people will admit that they think they are better than others in their life because they have more, but do a check-in on this one. Do you ever silently judge people based upon where they live, their job title, or the car they drive?
    • You’re not better than others because you have less money. This is the other side of the same coin. Do you judge people with a lot of money? Have you made assumptions about their honesty, morals, and priorities just because they have more money?
  3. Have some fun with your money!  For some people they are so afraid of not having enough money they hang on too tightly. Clinging is bad for all relationships.  Money likes to have fun with you.  Go on that trip, enjoy that dinner out with friends, buy those tickets to see Hamilton!  Money also likes balance – so remember to enjoy your money responsibly.
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  1. Let’s grow together – All relationships flourish when each partner grows. How are you helping your money to grow?
    • Money hates being left in a low (or no) interest bearing bank account. Bankrate can give you some ideas to boost the earnings on your cash.
    • Money loves when you save it! Putting your savings on automatic pilot is fabulous. If you have a retirement plan at work you know that having savings taken out of your paycheck every time makes savings easier. Why not show your money some love and boost the amount you’re contributing to your retirement plan. Money promises you won’t be sorry.
    • Money appreciates you reviewing where you’ve invested it. Have your reviewed your portfolio lately? How’s it doing? Is your allocation still in line with your risk tolerance and goals? Not sure? Maybe it’s time to visit with your financial advisor or get one.
  2. Don’t take your money for granted – Everyone, including your money, wants to feel appreciated. Saying thank you and focusing on financial gratitude will make you and your money feel good. Here are some easy ways to do this:
    • Write “Thank You” on your checks – In the memo or under your signature write (or type) thank you as a way to acknowledge your gratitude for having money to cover the check.
    • Take 5 minutes each day to note what you are grateful for – This will reduce stress and boost feelings of abundance.
    • Need more ideas? Check out this video on how gratitude can make you rich.
  3. Communicate with kindness and caring – Relationships need healthy communication. How are you talking about money? Do you catch yourself saying critical comments (to yourself or out loud) such as: There’s never enough. I’m so stressed dealing with money. I wish I didn’t have to deal with money. Or, instead are you more often saying: I’m so grateful for what money provides. I’m really good with money. It’s important to me to be a good steward with my money. You get the idea. Which do you think Money would like more? This makes a big impact on how often Money will show up for you. It really doesn’t like hanging around people who talk disparagingly about it.
  1. Be a good sharer – Money loves when you use it to make things better for not just you, but others too. Nothing would make money happier than you using it as a force for good in the world. What if you decided to give like a billionaire even if you aren’t one? Money’s willing to bet that you’d not only feel great, but maybe even see your prosperity grow.
  1. Build a future together – Creating a clear vision of your future gives your money something to work towards. Dream a little. Add yummy details to your vision. Create a Prosperity Picture and you’ll be giving money a goal to help you achieve.

So this Valentine’s Day, and all during the year, consider being more caring, loving and generous in your relationship with money.

I suspect you’ll see money wanting to hang around you more in the process!

 

 

11 Quick Money Tips – Are you doing these?

Okay maybe you have thought of some of these, but are you actually doing them? It’s easy to get busy with life and blow off taking simple steps that can make you some dough in the long run.

Making Your Money Make Money

  1. Set savings on auto pilot and increase it each year –

This is an ol’ time favorite suggestion. You’ve likely already done this for your retirement savings at work. But, have you set up automatic savings outside of work? Whether you’re saving for a sunny day (I hate the thought of savings being just for rainy days,) for a real estate purchase, or just investing for the future – having money come from your paycheck or checking account on an automatic basis will make things so much easier.  If you already have this set up, when was the last time you increased the amounts you’re saving?

Estimated time to set up: 30 minutes max.Quick Money Tips

  1. Move your cash to a higher yielding savings account –

There’s no excuse for having your savings and money market balances not earning money for you. Typically (but not always) the big banks where you might have your checking account aren’t going to pay you as good a rate on your savings or money market account balances as you can get with an online bank. Check out www.Bankrate.com to compare rates and bank quality. If you have your accounts held in a living trust you’ll want to make sure that the bank you choose will be able to set up the account in your trust name. Most will, some won’t.

Estimated time to set up: 15 minutes if not titled in a trust, 25 minutes if you have a trust.

Stop Wasting Money

  1. Pay all bills on auto debit –

I’ll fess up – I used to periodically get dinged for late payments on bills if I was traveling a lot or just busy. I almost always got these fees waived by calling the company, but that took time that could have been spent more efficiently. Perhaps you’re already doing this, but if not get your bills set up on auto pay. You’ll still need to check your bills to make sure they are correct (see Tip #7) but bye-bye late fees.

Estimated time to set up: Depends on how many bills – average 5 minutes a bill.

  1. Don’t waste money on things you can get for free –

On one of our trips to Ghana I was working with Global Mamas and they said the mamas love seeing U.S. fashion magazines. So while I was getting my hair done I asked the shop owner if I could take some old magazines. She was thrilled to give them to me. What else can you get that someone else is very happy to get rid of? Check out the free stuff listings on Craigslist, Freecycle or other sites. Many people have stuff they’d love to get into the hands of someone who can use it.

Which leads to…

  1. Get rid of stuff you no longer need –

Yes, I first mean your clutter, stuff, belongings etc. In a recent podcast with Sharon McRill founder of the Betty Brigade an organizing and relocation firm, and author of Downsizing the Silver Tsunami: Who to Call and Where Does All the Stuff Go? she said, “start now!” As the baby boomers continue to downsize – donation centers will eventually start to charge you for taking your stuff.  Less clutter means more spaciousness in every part of your life.  When I mentioned the two huge bins of Lego toys in my basement Sharon told me that many things have value that you wouldn’t expect. Apparently there are lots of people who buy bins of Legos to round out their projects! So, you might even make some extra cash in the process.

Maybe you’re paying for a storage unit that you really don’t need. Ask, would you really care if everything in there was mistakenly sold on Storage Wars? So save the fees – sell or donate your stuff.

Next, clean up your investment portfolio. If you have small accounts hanging out there that you’ve never consolidated now’s the time to do so. If you’re hanging on to old investments that no longer fit your goals, make those changes too.

Estimated time for stuff and clutter: Sharon suggests one hour a week is doable.

Estimated time for consolidating accounts: 15-20 minutes per account. This may take more time if you have to contact a former employer to get paperwork.

  1. Don’t wait for a big tax refund to get the use of your money –

I’ve been giving this advice for decades, yet people still need to hear it. If you think it’s fabulous to get a big tax refund you’re wrong. It means that the government used your money for an entire year. Fix your withholdings or work with your accountant on your tax estimates. The IRS has a tax withholding calculator you can use (programs like TurboTax® do as well.)

Estimated time: Between calculating and doing a new W4 form with your employer – about 40 minutes.

  1. Really scrutinize your credit card statements –

Are there small charges on your credit card bill that you might be ignoring? I recently realized that on the card that Steven (my husband) uses there was an ongoing Amazon charge. It was small, I hadn’t noticed it. One day when I was reconciling our accounts it occurred to me that he rarely buys anything on Amazon. For ten months I’d been paying this charge and it wasn’t legit. I called the credit card company, they took it off and credited me the amounts.

Similarly, do you have subscriptions that you no longer use or didn’t realize you signed up for? We had one of those last month – $89 for some company and I didn’t know what it was. Turns out when our son bought something it came with an annual subscription (must have been in the fine print.) Again, the credit card company got rid of it and credited the money back to my account.

Estimated time: About 10 minutes a month.

The next two tips I got from our son Benjy. Living in New York he’s gotten very wise about how to stretch his income, have fun in NYC, and still be able to save in his 401k and build up a cushion.

  1. Pre-game –

Benjy and his friends will meet at someone’s apartment for cocktails before they go out. Apparently it’s still called “pre-gaming” even when there is no sporting event attached. Saves lots of money and is fun too.

Similarly, avoid wasting money on soft drinks when you go out. I was really strict with our kids growing up about drinking pop (that’s Midwest for Coke, Pepsi, etc.) We always had water with our meals. I realize that not only was this so much better for our health, but saved us lots of money. I never really tracked this, but if the four of us went out, let’s say once a week for twelve years and didn’t spend $12 a meal on drinks (a conservative estimate) and we added that to a savings account we’d have about $8,500. Where could we be going with that money?!

  1. Maximize the points on your credit cards –

If you like to travel there’s a card for that. If you dine out a lot there’s a card for that. Assuming you don’t keep balances on your credit cards (we know that is a waste of money) consider doing a bit of research on what card best fits your needs. Points = money, free trips, etc. down the road. Check out The Points Guy for some guidance.

Estimated time: To research 15 minutes, to apply for a new card add another 15 minutes. To use your extra points for travel – one to two weeks!

Increase the Velocity of Your Generosity

If you’ve been following me for any period of time you know that I see generosity as one of the biggest drivers to prosperity. Here are some tips to do this.

  1. Writing thank you on your checks –

Generosity is a physical manifestation of your gratitude. So start with the gratitude. For many, many years I’ve been writing “thank you” under my signature on my checks. I do it so automatically that I barely think about it. Why do I do this? To acknowledge my gratitude that I have the money to pay the bill or donate or for whatever reason I’m writing the check. If you don’t write checks any longer, you can add this to the memo box on a virtual payment or simply say it out loud as you hit enter. Be grateful for what flows in and what flows out – this is an easy practice to move your mindset from scarcity to abundance and prosperity.

Estimated time: 2 seconds per check or payment.

  1. Put your giving on auto-pilot –

This is another all-time favorite of mine. Just like Tip #1, systematizing the money you are allocating to charity will allow you to be more deliberate and generous in your giving. You can do this by taking a percentage of your income each week, month, or quarter and putting it into a separate account earmarked for giving. Where do you give it? Where ever you are called to do so. A qualified charity, a family member or friend in need, a cause you believe in … you decide. If you choose a qualified charity you might get a tax deduction which is awesome, but that shouldn’t be the driving motivation.

Estimated time: 20 minutes to set up an account and schedule regular contributions.

Congratulations if you are already doing all of these things!

And let me know your tips for being better with money.

 

Can Generosity Make You Wealthier?

I’ve been very curious about generosity lately. Thinking about questions like:

  • who gives to charity?
  • how do they give?
  • why do they give? and,
  • what are the benefits to those who do give?

I’ve learned some interesting things along the way.

The U.S. is not the most generous country –

I don’t know why I just assumed the U.S. is at the top of the list for generosity. We certainly rank high on the list of most generous nations. According to the CAF World Giving Index, in 2018 Indonesia lands the top spot for the first time. The U.S. comes in at number four which is an improvement of one spotGenerosity can make you healthier, wealthier, hotter and happier since 2017. The index is based on surveys which ask about: helping a stranger or someone you don’t know, volunteering, and giving to charity. Americans rate high on helping others and donating to charities, but only 39% of respondents said they volunteer so there’s plenty of room for growth. Our rating here is certainly better than our rating on the Global Gender Pay Gap where we came in at number 51! If you haven’t seen the Desi Lydic Abroad show (from the Daily Show) on this topic of the pay gap you must.

Women are more generous than men –

generosity leads to health, wealth, happiness

According to a study by U.S. Trust in conjunction with the Lily Family School of Philanthropy at the University of Indiana, 93% of high net worth women give to charity and 56% volunteer, compared to 87% of men giving to charity and 41% who volunteer.

And this doesn’t just hold true for the wealthy. For baby boomer women, they gave 89% more to charity than their male counterparts.

Women are joining giving circles in increasing numbers. These are groups that pool their money and then allocate the funds to causes the group agrees on. Interested in starting your own giving circle? Here’s some ideas how.

Giving is contagious –

It’s curious to me that people always talk about catching a cold on a plane, or dousing themselves in hand sanitizer when they are out in public to avoid all forms of cooties. Why not focus on catching something good?generosity is contagious

Research out of UC San Diego and Harvard suggest that when one person gives generously it gives others the nudge to do so as well. This inspiration can spread as much as three degrees. Coming out of the parking garage this morning someone waited and held the door open for me. I then waited a bit longer than I normally would have to hold the door open for someone behind me. Not sure what the guy behind me did, but wouldn’t be surprised if he was a bit more thoughtful on his commute to work. Your kind act could spark dozens and dozens of other kind acts.

Why does any of this matter?

Want to be happier?  Studies indicate that spending money on others boosts happiness levels more than spending money on yourself.

volunteers have less depression, lower stressHow about healthier? According to the Mayo Clinic: People who volunteer have lower rates of depression, lower stress levels, and may actually live longer.

Can being generous make you hotter? One study showed that prosocial men were ranked as more attractive and desirable as romantic partners than non-prosocial men. Another study showed that altruistic people are more desirable as long-term mates.

What about being wealthier? Generosity might be able to help this too. According to a study out of Stockholm University and the University of South Carolina, generous people make more money. According to their research, unselfish people not only have more children, but higher incomes as well.

Why not start your day asking what Benjamin Franklin asked:

“What good shall I do this day?”

See what happens!

How to stop worrying about money – 5 better ideas!

It’s easier than you think to stop worrying about money.

With market volatility increasing I thought it was a good time to talk about worry.

For many people stress about money is constant – actually, according to one study about a third of Americans worry about money all the time. Wow, that must feel awful. Imagine if all that anxiety was funneled into something more productive? Think about the improvement in your financial decision making if you could lower the volume of financial angst.

Here are some ideas for how financial stress can be reduced, no matter what’s happening in the markets and the economy.

  1. Focus on what is working well

I know you’ve heard all about the benefits of gratitude. But, do you actually focus on what you’re thankful for on a regular basis? There are lots and lots of studies showing the amazing power of gratitude. It’s easy to be nervous about your finances when markets are rocky or unexpected bills show up. Taking just a couple of minutes each day to put your attention on what is going well will help you to dial down the stress.

And here’s a short video on easy ways to incorporate more gratitude into your daily life.

  1. Know your numbers

Burying your head in the sand will not make you feel better about your money. Go through the process of running the numbers on what it really takes to run your lifestyle. Knowing what you own (your assets) and owe (your liabilities) may actually help you feel less nervous. With this knowledge you can build a plan to make changes and make better informed decisions. Creating a values-based spending plan can help you to be more deliberate about where you spend your money.

  1. Get support

People are super secretive when it comes to money. The problem with this is that they often don’t get the advice they need to make better financial decisions. Rather than go it alone, why not talk to a friend who can give you some perspective? Or, better yet, get professional advice. Your situation might be better than you think. Looking for a financial advisor? Ask a friend, your accountant or attorney for a referral. It’s a good idea to interview several advisors to better understand the services they provide, how they charge for their services, and to get a sense of whether or not they feel like a good fit.

  1. Be a do-gooder

I know this may sound like a weird suggestion for reducing financial stress, but it works.

When you shift your attention to helping others – studies have shown that you boost your own happiness levels.

The dirty-little-secret to giving is that it feels great to the giver. If you are worried about a stressful situation in your financial life, doing a kind act for another may be just what you need to move forward.

  1. Breathe!

When you are freaked out about money your ability to make good financial decisions is diminished. Having a contemplative practice such as meditation, walking in nature, etc. can give you some space between feeling nervous and finding a thoughtful response.

If you’re new to meditation, click HERE for some apps that might get you kick-started. Also a book I’ve loved that is really accessible even for beginners is Search Inside Yourself.

I’m currently enrolled in the mindfulness teacher training from The Search Inside Yourself Institute. I really love their program, especially for people in the business world. Stay tuned for more on this!

My wish for you is one of calm, clarity and prosperity.

Inhale, Exhale.

Create Wealth by Clearing Clutter…Really!

What does clutter have to do with creating wealth?

Cleaning up the messes in your life can be one of the best ways to boost your financial success. When your attention is on what you haven’t yet done, or what you wish you didn’t do, it’s really difficult to focus on creating what you most desire. Once you can make more space in your life (both physically and mentally) you’ll be better able to draw in more or what you want … including money. 

In this video I talk about the three steps to get you started.  You’ll be surprised at how easy it can be!

 

The 3 Steps to Clearing Financial Clutter

Here are three steps to tackling both physical clutter (all those papers) as well as mental clutter (the things you did and wish you hadn’t or the things you know you need to do).

tackle the papers1. Tackle the papers! 

Even in our paperless world there still maybe paperwork you’re hanging on to that you’ll likely never need. If you can get a copy online – toss it! As Marie Kondo says keep what brings you joy and toss the rest.

 

2. Create your financial to-do listcreate financial to-do list

List all of those things you know you need to get done such as your will, changing beneficiaries and cleaning out files.

 

burn, tear up or delete past mistakes3. Make a list of past mistakes

Write them down, note what you learned from your mistakes, then… burn, tear up or delete your list. The past does not exist. Learn from it and move on!

 

Gain Traction Through Action

Puzzled by which statements, invoices and personal financial records you need to keep?

This guide will help you sort it out:   Financial Records: What to Save, What to Toss.

Let me know what you have cleared out and any “not-just-a-coincidence” experiences that happen for you! Leave a comment below.

And hey you Abundance Activists, remember to share this with your people.  

Every good wish!

Want more Prosperity Tips? Click here to subscribe to my YouTube channel.

7 Things Prosperous People Don’t Do

Learn what prosperous people do that others don’t

Wanting to build prosperity on purpose? After many conversations and work with those who are truly prosperous, I’ve learned there are seven important things that they just don’t do. 

Here are the 7 things not to do if you want to be more prosperous:

1. They don’t measure their success purely on financial measures. The definition of prosperity is the condition of being successful or thriving. It’s not having stock piles of money while going home at the end of the day and kicking your dog and fighting with your partner. Prosperous people realize there are many ways to feel rich that don’t have to do with financial wealth. Now this doesn’t meant that having a solid financial situation isn’t awesome, but it doesn’t ensure happiness. What if you looked at all the ways you are already rich that have nothing to do with money?

2. They don’t wait to be generous. You don’t have to wait until you know that you have more than enough for yourself before you help others. Here’s the reality, some people will never feel they have enough. Security is an illusion. And, waiting to be generous until you have lots of money is backwards – generosity actually is a catalyst for prosperity. prosperity giving handWhen you loosen your grip on money you allow more to flow to you. Of course giving of your time and talents is fabulous too. But don’t let your volunteerism be an excuse for not giving financially as well. Now, I’m not just talking about charitable contributions. Prosperous people aren’t cheap – they realize that it’s okay for people to make a living. They tip well. They pay people promptly and gratefully for good service and a job well done.

 3. They don’t focus on what they don’t have. I’ve noticed something interesting over the years. When I talk with people who are overspenders they tell me all about what they don’t do and don’t have. I’ll hear things like “I don’t drive a fancy car.” Or, “We don’t take big vacations.” They have a lot of attention on what isn’t working for them. On the other hand, really good savers and financially responsible people will share what’s working really well for them. “Yea, maybe someday we’ll redo our kitchen, but we’re so comfortable now.” Or, “I’m so grateful for my family and that I really enjoy my work.” It doesn’t mean that these ‘great with money’ people don’t aspire for things and experiences; it’s that they also really appreciate what’s working for them now. You’ve likely heard that a gratitude practice can boost your happiness levels. But did you know it can also boost your wealth?  Focusing on what’s working and what you’re thankful for will calm you down and speed things up. 

4. They don’t worry about what they can’t control. You can’t control the stock market, whether there’s a recession or not, or tax policies. You can control how much you prepare for unexpected events both practically (insurance, savings) and emotionally. Have a generous emergency reserve or as my friend and caregiving expert Denise Brown calls it … a solutions fund (so much more upbeat sounding). Worry is a lousy financial planning strategy and can also lead to really bad financial decisions. Instead, when you start to feel freaked out about money turn to a contemplative practice like meditation, yoga, walking in nature or breath work. Focusing on what you are grateful for is another great practice to lower your stress levels.

7 things prosperous people dont do

5. They don’t wait to save and invest. Good habits with money start when we’re kids. Saving coins in piggy banks teaches many good money lessons: Count your pennies, putting money away for the future, small amounts add up … you get the idea. Need a nudge to be better at this? Putting savings on automatic pilot helps pretty much everyone be better at socking money away. So up your 401k plan savings, or set up a regular withdrawal from your pay check or checking account. Prosperous people are very discerning about how they spend their money. They consciously spend money on things they value and skip the rest. Even if they start late they start. Think of financial flower pots. Plant seeds for different goals that you have. You may put more seeds into one pot if you want bigger blooms (like retirement for example) and different seeds in another pot if the goal is coming up more quickly (like funding education). Naming your goals, and investments “pots” helps to move you ahead and takes advantage of the natural way you brain may think about your money.

6. They don’t resent and judge other people’s financial success. This is scarcity focused. They don’t compare themselves to others financially. Just because someone has a fancier car, a bigger house, or takes better vacations doesn’t mean jack. They may or may not have more than you and it doesn’t matter anyway. Instead they celebrate other’s successes. There is abundance all around and just because someone else is doing well doesn’t mean you can’t do well too. When you judge other people in the way they spend or earn their money this acts likes a drag on your financial success. 

7. They don’t believe all their thoughts about money. We develop many of our subconscious beliefs about money at an age much earlier than we can imagine. Bruce Lipton, author of The Biology of Belief, says that many of these beliefs are formed between conception and age 7! So in the background we all have all sorts of thoughts and beliefs about money floating around. Many of these are not positive or supportive. Exploring what you really think about money can be eye opening. Start by noticing your thoughts about money as they appear. Are you saying things like “I can’t ever afford this.” “I don’t have a head from money.” “I don’t deserve to do well.” If you catch these less than excellent thoughts say to yourself (or out loud) “cancel/clear.” Cancel that thought and clear it out. Then replace it with what you’d prefer instead. Easy. Quick. Effective.

Move away from Scare-city into the Prosperity Zone

Try not doing some of these things and see what happens! Often to bring more prosperity in your life it’s more about what you don’t do than what you do.

Gain Traction Through Action

Let me know what you try not doing and how it works for you. Leave a comment below. Hey you Abundance Activists, remember to share this with your people.  

Every good wish!

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